Dirty True Confessions Read online

  We both glanced to the thick envelope on the table.

  And then she was gone.

  I pressed Rebecca to tell me what Nicki had told her. Rebecca said it would be better if I waited for Nicki to tell me. She said we’d all be much happier if I heard it from Nicki. Rebecca was right, of course.

  I just wished I wouldn’t have found out the way I did.

  ***

  On the forums, I found a thread titled, “Jenny Returns.”

  I was thrilled. Ecstatic. Jenny was back! Finally some good news, I thought.

  But then as I started to read the messages, I realized there were problems. It wasn’t really Jenny. It was a girl that looked like Jenny. A girl named Star had appeared on another site and some people swore that Jenny and Star were the same person, that Jenny had merely changed names and graduated to video.

  I followed the link and discovered the location of Jack Price.

  Jack was the host of the new site. He introduced himself, explaining that he was a talent agent that helped girls get jobs in the porn industry. He called his next girl a “Valentine’s Day Special.” He said she was really cute, still in high school, and that he was looking forward to auditioning her.

  I got a bad feeling in my gut. When Star knocked and then came grinning through his office door, my blood went cold—

  Star was Nicki.

  She brushed her long silky hair from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear.

  Nicki was Star.

  Jack pretended to have just met her. My mind was racing—Jack intended to fuck my little Nicki, at her request. He was going to help her make a pornographic video, and then put it on the Internet for millions of people to see. I wanted to shut the movie off, close my browser, pretend none of this was happening.

  But I knew I couldn’t do any of that—I’m Nicki’s father, after all.

  Jack made her hold her driver’s license and school ID near her face and state her age. Eighteen. They made small talk for a few minutes. Nicki didn’t look nervous. He asked her why she wanted to make porn videos and she said to repay some money she had borrowed from her parents. I sighed out loud. Jack told her she would have her six thousand dollars in a few weeks, maybe a month or two.

  I looked at the envelope of cash on my desk. I still hadn’t deposited it.

  He had her strip. She removed her jacket. Her boots, socks. He was adjusting his cameras. She stopped at her pants and t-shirt, waiting for his direction.

  She stood in her bare feet.

  “Whenever you’re ready,” he said.

  Nicki pulled her t-shirt over her head. She shook out her hair, then unsnapped her bra and took it off.

  Jack called her over to him.

  “Can I touch?” he asked.

  Nicki grinned. She put her hands on her waist and thrust her shoulders back. He fondled her little breasts. He used both his hands.

  “What size?”

  “32,” Nicki said. “A.”

  He lowered his head and suckled her.

  “Perfect,” he whispered.

  Nicki flushed.

  He used his thumbs to work her breasts and then blew.

  Her nipples stiffened.

  “Soon I’m going to buy—” Thick with excitement, her voice caught.

  She stopped, swallowed.

  “—bigger ones,” she finished, laughing.

  Jack chuckled and went back to his cameras. I wished I’d told Nicki that her breasts were perfect, just like her mothers.

  She took off her pants.

  He had her slowly lower her panties while he used a handheld camera to capture close ups of her bottom. She had a tattoo in the small of her back.

  When she turned, her pussy was clean shaven.

  Bare.

  He had her sit on the couch and then hold the camera on her own face as he went down on her. I watched her orgasm. When Jack asked if she’d come, she sheepishly nodded.

  He stood. Asked her if she was ready to earn the big money. Nicki smiled.

  Jack said, “Suck my dick.”

  Nicki averted her eyes. Her cheeks reddened.

  She grinned.

  Without looking back to Jack, she rolled her body off couch the same way I’d seen her do hundreds of times before, just as if I’d asked her to go brush her teeth, start her homework, or answer the phone. Only this time, she didn’t do any of those things. This time she slipped from the couch, to the floor, and then got on her knees at Jack’s feet.

  He pointed the handheld down at her.

  Unbuckling his belt, she opened his pants. She looked up at him and grinned. She reached into his fly, fished out his fat penis, and then popped it into her mouth. He had three cameras going and the video had been edited to show a little footage from each, just like a TV show. The handheld offered shots of Nicki looking up at him with his cock in her mouth. A camera closer in offered a midrange view while another further back featured a wide angle shot.

  Nicki put her hands on his thighs and let him fuck her in the mouth.

  He fucked her on a couch.

  He fucked her against the wall.

  He fucked her on a desk.

  She laid back on the desk and he stood at the edge, holding her thighs in his hands. You could hear the rhythmic slap of his belly against the backs of her thighs. In the comments, someone pointed out how her tits were so small and firm, they hardly even jiggled as he fucked her, despite him having a forty or fifty pound weight advantage.

  At one point, he had her bend over the desk. He stood behind her and asked if she’d ever done anal. When Nicki balked, he told her that the girls who did anal made the most money. He said to compete well she would really have to consider it.

  Nicki dropped her head, her shoulders sagged. I got the impression Jack had used this same strategy to motivate her many, many times.

  She told him she worried she’d make an ugly face on camera. He laughed and said that was exactly what he wanted. He pointed to a camera in front of her and said that people wanted to see the expression on her face as he put his cock in her ass.

  The view switched to the camera he indicated. She looked into it just as he’d asked her to do. Pursing her lips, she waited.

  He fussed around behind her.

  Eventually she bit her lip. He took her hips in his hands.

  She grunted, she winced.

  Eventually he began bucking his hips. Soon she lowered her face to the desk. Finally he reached between her legs, and she gasped. She held onto the edges of the desk with both hands. Her eyes were twisted shut, her teeth clenched. And then she opened her mouth wide and wailed.

  After it was over, he asked her if she’d come, but she wouldn’t answer this time. She just lowered her head, let her hair hang into her face.

  He chuckled.

  He had her kneel on the floor. Holding his cock in his hand, Jack asked her if she would swallow, if she could swallow. Nicki tucked her long hair behind her ear. Pursed her lips. She looked right into his eyes.

  “Only my boyfriend,” she said, “gets to come in my mouth.”

  ***

  I sat on the bed in the dark for a long time.

  My cock throbbed in my pants—God damned Viagra. I didn’t want to risk touching myself. I wanted my erection to go away, but there were certain images I just couldn’t get out of my mind.

  Jack had come on Nicki’s face.

  She’d opened her mouth, and when he ejaculated she turned her head slightly to the right. A big gob of cum landed on her cheek. He leaned in over her, kept jacking his dick with one hand, holding the camera with the other.

  He sprayed her chin. Her cheeks. Her chest.

  He had taken the footage of his cum shot from all three cameras, spliced it all together, and then ran it back-to-back. When he stopped coming the first time, it wasn’t over: the view just changed. Nicki’s face was suddenly clear again and she looked up at him with her mouth open. He started to come and she turned her head slightly to the right, that same
big gob of cum landing on her cheek. Three times I watched it. Three different angles. Each time exactly as before: she opened her mouth, and then turned her head slightly to the right.

  When all the footage was exhausted, Jack laughed. You could hear him breathing heavily into the mic. Nicki grinned, her hands held wide.

  Her face held a sloppy mess of semen.

  He pointed the camera at her and twisted the viewfinder around so she could see herself. She snorted. Used her fingertip to clear some of the semen from the corner of her mouth. He said he’d get her a towel and left the camera running. She remained on her knees. Waited patiently. She gazed into the camera, his cum cooling on her cheeks and chin.

  I got out my credit card and signed up for the site. I didn’t want to. And I probably shouldn’t have. But I didn’t feel like I had a choice.

  I am Nicki’s father, after all.

  If the audition was her first video, then Nicki had made a dozen more since. I watched them all. In one video, she and a boy (playing her boyfriend) were short for rent, and he convinced her to sleep with one of the neighbors, a muscular black man. Nicki hesitantly agreed, but asked her boyfriend not to leave her. Before Nicki could even take off her jeans, the neighbor paid the boy, and then slipped his hand between her legs. Nicki and the neighbor ended up naked on the bed, the boyfriend looking on. She soon squirmed with delight as the big neighbor took his pleasure with her. The more Nicki warmed to her task, the more distraught her boyfriend looked. At the end of the video, she eagerly got down on her knees and let the neighbor man finish in her mouth.

  I could feel my heart racing in my chest.

  She seemed to be working with the same men from Jenny’s photos. The boy who played Nicki’s boyfriend had a hook nose, the neighbor looked a lot like the amateur photographer.

  In another video, Nicki was dressed like a young professional, buying shoes. She sat down and put her foot on the stool between the legs of a clerk. He took her shoe off and started to caress her foot. Another customer sat next to her. She smiled at the clerk who worked his hand up her calf. She let her head fall back, her hair hang down. The customer sitting next to her began to stroke her arm, unbutton her blouse. Another customer approached. Soon she was surrounded by a roomful of men, at least half a dozen. They removed her clothes, moved the chairs away, and laid her down on the floor.

  She had her head in one man’s lap and another man mounted her. Two guys knelt on either side of her head, and she took their cocks in her hands. The men took turns fucking her. More men came into the store, saw what was happening, and decided to take part. Each man took a few strokes, then surrendered his spot to someone else. There was a lot of jockeying for position. Shouting.

  Soon the boy with the hook nose knelt by Nicki’s head.

  He gingerly held his cock. Nicki was grinning at him. All the men seemed to have reached some unspoken consensus. The boy stroked himself, groaned, and then he came. Nicki deftly moved her head to catch his semen in her mouth. When the boy finished, another man took his place, cock in hand. Nicki discreetly pushed the semen from her mouth, letting it slide down her chin. She shook her hair from her face, then opened her mouth, and waited for this next man to fill it with cum. All the men crowded around her head, holding their cocks in their hands.

  It was boisterous. Loud. It did not proceed in an orderly fashion.

  The men shouted at one another. Shouted direction at Nicki. She would open her mouth for one man, but then another man would be ready, and she would have to quickly move her open mouth to him.

  The coach came in her mouth and then before she could expel his semen, the black neighbor was ready for her. He leaned over her face. Nicki offered her mouth, still filled with coach’s semen. The neighbor groaned. He came. It was such a copious amount of semen, the others all started to laugh. His big black dick just kept spraying cum. Nicki kept her mouth open, a panicked look in her eye. When he finally finished, she quickly turned to another man, grabbed his dick, and shoved it into her mouth, a ruse to clear the abundance of cum without spitting. Semen poured from her mouth, rolling down her cheeks and chin.

  After that, Nicki struggled.

  She dutifully plodded on until the crowd diminished. But she was no longer smiling, her eyes had lost their sparkle. The last man took a long time to come. Her eyes looked vacant as she waited for him to finish.

  He finally emptied in her mouth and she immediately pushed it out. She offered no pretense at disguise this time. She blew little puffs of air from her mouth, bursting sticky semen bubbles on her lips.

  He petted her head once, then left to join the others.

  As she lay on the floor, she rolled to her side and pulled her knees to her chest. The camera lingered on her. The men had all moved to another part of the room. You could hear them laughing and joking. Soon Jack came into the frame. He knelt at her head. Toweled her face and chest. Petted her hair. You could hear him whispering to her, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying.

  Jack stood. He was wearing shorts and no shoes. The camera framed Nicki’s face and his hairy legs. She rolled onto her back and looked up at him.

  His shorts fell in a pool at his ankles.

  The camera slowly panned back. He mounted her. Took her head in his hands. He rode her for a bit, his shirt tails covering his ass. And then he got off her, knelt at her face.

  The camera zoomed in.

  “Swallow this one,” he said. “Swallow it.”

  And she did.

  ***

  That’s how Rebecca found me. I told her all that I’d seen and she comforted me. She rubbed my shoulders. Kissed my neck. I kept telling her what I had witnessed. All those men. My little Nicki. She looked so distraught, especially at the end of the gangbang.

  Rebecca shushed me.

  She said I ought to think about the gangbang like it was a stunt. She said it wasn’t much different from getting set on fire or falling off a roof. Just another stunt.

  I looked at Rebecca. She was serious.

  She said it sounded like Nicki had held her own. Had carried the show. That’s what we say when a stunt goes bad, but the stuntman finds a way to save the shot. We say the stuntman held it together.

  I shushed Rebecca.

  She worked her fingers into the muscles along my shoulders and neck. We sat in silence in the bedroom for a long time. Finally she told me she wanted to show me something. She got off the bed and asked me to follow her.

  I stood up and my erection tented my pants. Rebecca looked at it.

  I glared at her.

  She went into the computer room and I followed. She brought up a website on her laptop and then turned it toward me. I sat in the chair.

  It was a porn site: NickiPrice.com.

  Nicki appeared on the site. Not only did she appear, it was her site. Pictures. Videos. The tag line for the site read: Price of fame.

  I soon realized that Nicki was the Price in Price of fame. The tag line was a play on her new name. Nicki was now Nicki Price.

  “Nicki Price?” I asked.

  “They got married in Vegas,” Rebecca said. “Nicki has been waiting for the right time to tell you. She didn’t want you to freak out. Threaten anybody.”

  Rebecca got down on her knees at my feet.

  “Don’t be mad, Milton,” she said. She rubbed my thighs. “Don’t be mad.”

  I am Milton Pearl, and I have nothing to confess. I deleted that video of Nicki that I found on my laptop computer. I finally found those Polaroids of Becky, but I burned them. I deleted all the pictures I ever saved of Jenny, too.

  A man that lives in the past is a man that will miss the present. I don’t want to miss out on any more of the present.

  Becky is gone, and I have to accept it.

  Rebecca is my wife.

  As I sat there looking at my daughter’s new entertainment industry business, Rebecca slipped my cock out of my pants. By that time, I had had my erection for almost four hours straight. She war
med lotion in her hands and then applied it to my cock.

  It took me a long time to come. I amused myself by watching videos of Nicki’s wedding.

  A whole crowd of them went to Vegas. Jack. The black man. The kid with the nose. The good looking customer. Coach. A few others who I don’t have names for yet. They all went to an amusement park. The black guy carried Nicki around piggyback. She had a raft of cotton candy in her hands and held tight to his back, her face near his ear.

  The boy with the hooknose fed her bites from his soft pretzel. Gave her a balloon.

  They had the wedding ceremony in a cupcake shop called Dinosaur Treats. There was a video of Nicki smashing a cupcake into Jack’s face.

  An Elvis impersonator officiated their marriage.

  I found a picture of Jack, the black guy, and the Elvis impersonator. Jack stood grinning in the middle with his arms around each man. The black guy had a smug smile. Elvis stared at his shoes.

  I wondered where Nicki was, and then I scrolled down the page and found her—in another picture, underneath the one of Jack and his friends: She was on her knees with Jack’s cock in her mouth, both the black man and Elvis’s cocks in her hands.

  She looked . . . happy.

  Better off than I’d seen her since Becky died.

  My family is growing. I have a son-in-law. I’ll soon have grandkids, I’m told.

  As Rebecca gave me the relief I needed, I read a comment under one of the videos. It was from some anonymous guy, a nameless customer who had been inspired to leave a little note, a testament to his visit:

  “Nicki Price is the best thing to happen to adult video in a long, long time.”

  Milton P.

  Malibu, CA

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